the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
