your parents love me but you hate me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
