Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
