why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
