I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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