my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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