Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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