Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
