it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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