Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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