so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
