Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
