My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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