so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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