WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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