Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
