I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
