Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
