We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
