I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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