That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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