that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
