All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
