Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My vagina is very pro this idea
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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