so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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