I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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