Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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