Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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