similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
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From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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