C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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