im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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