I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I skipped work to stalk him.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
