so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
