I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
