used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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