My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
