ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
did i walk over a car last night?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
