I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
