think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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