yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we made out on top of his cat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
