Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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