whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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