I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I party with great urgency now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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