one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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