she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
