girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
