She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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