Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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