So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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