Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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