So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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