He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
