i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
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Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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