I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
